Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Breathe {inspiration for Wednesdays}

I do not look good in yoga pants!!  That is my declaration of the week!  As I write this, I am wearing them, sitting in Starbucks, having just finished a yoga class - and I am feeling super self-conscious.  I am totally sure people are looking at me with raised eyebrows thinking "she should not be wearing those!" or "now where is that 'What Not to Wear' show when you need them?"

At least here in the world's coffee shop, I can hide under my layers of clothing.  DURING the yoga class, when I can't throw on a big sweatshirt is the toughest!  I worry what my butt looks like in down-dog...or if parts of me that should be firm are actually jiggling!  The laughable dichotomy is, I get critical and demeaning of my body in the middle of trying to bring harmony and balance to it!!

So right now some of you are laughing so hard at me because this so resonates with you, we could be twins!  Others of you are squinting at your computer screen in unbelief, asking yourselves "is she really writing about this?"  However, I do have a point (YEAH!!)  The problem with all this is that while I am trying to focus on one thing, I am actually expending energy in a different (and opposite) direction.  It is like I am a tire that is headed in a certain direction, but I have a slow leak that is going to drain me before I {surprise!} know it.  I think this is why exhaustion creeps up on me when I've done so little physical exertion.  Is it possible that I am giving away my energy to fruitless endeavors? 

Today I am challenged by this idea.  I recently read a great quote that said:
"We must manage our energy, not our time, by being aware of two things:  the way we spend our personal energy and how we renew it."
To be honest, I am, on one level very aware because I make to-do lists and get things done.  But on another level, I may be spending too much energy during these activities on fear, worries, anger, what people think of me...pick your vice of choice!!

So the question at hand becomes what will I give my energy to?  Will I give it to my insecurities or worries or what others think or will I give it to the noble task at hand?  Will I allow anger or criticalness to drain me or will I stop giving them a power source and give it to creative projects?  To give energy to a black hole is stupid.  I can have a dozen hours of sleep, countless cups of coffee, good food, name it, and still not have the energy to reach #3 on my to-do list!!  So I need to watch and be aware of what or who is hogging my energy.

The second step - how we renew our energy - is a little tougher for me.  I am not always good at "filling up" because I have practiced a lifetime of getting drained!  However...and isn't this ironic??...I think one of the ways I renew my energy is through physical exercise!

So I guess the yoga pants stay...
Funny thing is, I am realizing that others may feel just as self-conscious as I do so they are not even thinking about my shape or jiggles.  They are so absorbed in their own energy drain....they could care less about mine!!

Breathe, smile and go slowly.
(pictures from Three Trees Yoga...Yoga on the Beach)

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